Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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