I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize