Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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