I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
