..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
