so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
