so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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