Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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