Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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