He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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