Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize