This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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