Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
