his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
