Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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