I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
