yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
