I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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