i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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