Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize