what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
