both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize