I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The power of my boobs compel you
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
