Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
