I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
