You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches