i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"