dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.