Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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