i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
