Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize