you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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