No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
