I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
