We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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