you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
