This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
