I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
