the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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