Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
