It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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