It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
