Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize