I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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