I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
