drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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