I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
