Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I could fuck to npr.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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