So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
