apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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