it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
