I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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