Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
that's an acceptable place to lick
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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