You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
