By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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