Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
