Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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