At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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