i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
