Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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