he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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