when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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