I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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