No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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