I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize