Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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