Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
