i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
