9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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