Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
