I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
